On the privilege of loving those with special needs
When my mom was a few months pregnant with me, she almost miscarried. Afterwards, she was put on bed rest for the next three months of her pregnancy. She was allowed to leave her bed only to shower and use the bathroom, which, to be honest, sounds utterly miserable. But she fought for me, and so I am here today.
I am one of twelve children, but seven have been lost to miscarriage and stillbirth. There has been a lot of death in my family. And so, when my youngest brother Tommy was born and he had Down syndrome, we didn't care about that diagnosis; we were simply overcome with joy that he was healthy, and alive, and here.
Currently, anywhere from 60- to almost 100% of children given prenatal diagnoses of Down syndrome are aborted worldwide. These are children who were "wanted" and desired, right until that moment that their parents found out about the possibility of disability.
Here's the thing: women destroy their children because they are afraid. In the case of Down syndrome, they are often afraid because of what the doctor tells them. When my parents were pregnant with Tommy, the doctors painted a bleak picture of Down syndrome: a child who might never learn to read, or communicate, or be independent. All of that was outdated, and frankly, ableist misinformation.
But whether or not a disability is involved, the root cause of abortion is always fear. Society tells women that they are not strong enough to go to school and be a mother, or to work and have a child. And so women become afraid that they cannot handle the responsibility, or the financial burden, or the million little things that are part of raising any child.
And yes, caring for a child, especially one with special needs, is difficult. My brother can't eat solid food; he has behavioral issues; he struggles with many of the day-to-day tasks that able people don't think twice about. But he is happy, and he makes my whole family's lives better just by being.
I am pro-life because where some might look at my brother and see a burden, I see a privilege. It is a privilege to love him, and to care for him, and to help him fight his battles.
Dr. Jérôme Lejeune, the French geneticist who discovered the cause of Down syndrome, said that "The quality of a civilization can be measured by the respect it has for its weakest members. There is no other criterion." End quote.
I am pro-life because my mother fought for me when I could not fight for myself. She gave me the power and the responsibility to fight for my brother and for all of the weak and vulnerable members of humanity. I am pro-life because I think that women and their children deserve better than fear and violence; they deserve to be empowered, to be given life, to be fought for! And am pro-life because I believe that individual human lives have value and dignity not because of what we can do but because of who we are: we are made to love and to be loved, to care and to be cared for.