Suzy and Dave Younger share their discernment as adoptive parents.
Suzy Younger, Notre Dame Marriage Prep Coordinator and Certified FertilityCare Practitioner, and her husband, Dave, Director of the Sorin Fellows Program in the de Nicola Center for Ethics and Culture, are parents to three adopted children. The Youngers sat down with Footprints to share a few important aspects and insights they have had in their adoption experience.
The decision to adopt can be a tough but rewarding decision for any couple. Dave shared “The discernment process can take a lot out of you. For some people, the decision [to adopt] is very cut and dry, but not for others.” A few major aspects of the Younger’s story help us understand the decision to adopt from their perspective.
First, adoption is not only for childless couples.
Before Dave and Suzy were engaged, Dave knew his life would center around providing children with necessary love, care, and protection. He formed this conviction while earning his B.A. in Social Work from Franciscan University of Steubenville.
Dave made it a priority to discuss foster care and adoption with Suzy before they were engaged. She agreed that if the opportunity presented itself, they would consider it.
Unfortunately, they soon realized that they struggled with infertility. Suzy was hesitant to turn straight to adoption because she did not want her adopted children to feel like a consolation prize. This part of the discernment process was difficult and took a lot of prayer. Though their infertility might have opened the door to foster care and adoption sooner than expected, it was not the reason they went through with their three adoptions.
Be open to God’s call to adopt, even if you are scared.
One day, while Suzy was driving to Ohio, she kept hearing commercials about foster care. She repeatedly switched the channel because she did not realize it was a call. After switching the channel, she immediately looked up and saw a billboard promoting becoming foster parents. It was not until she stopped at a gas station and heard yet another foster care commercial that she understood these advertisements were signs from God, and that she and Dave were called to adopt.
Suzy shared, “There is a beautiful statue in our parish of Our Lady holding out the Christ Child [as if] she is handing Him to you. As I was praying there, I heard her say, ‘If I couldn’t take care of Him, would you take care of Him for me?’”
She went home and woke the next morning to a call from a friend asking if she was open to fostering a child. After discovering many connections between the foster care advertisements, her and Dave’s prayers, and this new baby who needed to be loved, together they decided to pursue the process of fostering and adopting.
If you feel the call to adopt, do not let technical challenges hinder you from discerning His call.
There are many challenges with adopting that make people unsure if they should pursue this path. Adopting through an agency can cost more than $20,000, but there are other options unbeknownst to most people.
Suzy and Dave did not adopt through an agency and were reimbursed the majority of the money they spent during their adoption processes through tax breaks and other reimbursements. The University of Notre Dame provides adoption reimbursements for their staff. Notre Dame’s HR website states, “Eligible faculty and staff may receive reimbursement of adoption expenses up to $7,500 per adoption, with a maximum of two (2) adoptions per year.” Financial support is a great way people can contribute to finding loving homes for children coming from difficult situations.
Even if you are not in a position to adopt, you can support this effort as a pro-life option.
In addition to her career as a FertilityCare Practitioner, Suzy works with couples in marriage preparation at the University of Notre Dame. She ensures her couples discuss foster care and adoption. Being open to the call regardless of our situation allows us to be present in providing for the needs of others. Even if a couple is not meant to adopt, they can still find ways to live with a spirit of adoption. Post Dobbs, it is critical to find ways to support life, and this can be done by creating programs that provide financial assistance to couples hoping to adopt.
As our discussion came to a close, the Youngers shared three inspiring words: “Be not afraid.” The decision whether or not to adopt can be difficult to discern, but we can always trust in the Lord.
Whether you feel the call to adopt, or want to give of yourself in some way, it is important to remember that as long as we keep taking faithful steps to protect the sanctity of Life, when our desire is to share our love with another, God will forge a way.
Bridgette Rodgers is a freshman studying management consulting and theology. She enjoys catching up with her brother over lunch. Contact her at brodger4@nd.edu.